


Veggies

by LetThereBeDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But also, Comedy, Confused Castiel, Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, Fluff, Flustered Dean, Funny, M/M, Sitcom, who doesn't like a little veggies au, why, why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4721456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetThereBeDestiel/pseuds/LetThereBeDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean looked around him, examining the new tenants. The ones closest to him were the potatoes. Most of them were busy gazing around them, probably wondering why they ended up in another fridge, but one of them stared right at him, squinting.<br/>"Hello," he greeted the potato reluctantly.<br/>The potato squinted even harder, and tilted its head to read the writing on Dean's can.<br/>" 'Share a coke with Dean',"  he read. "Hello, Dean."<br/>"Eh...hello," Dean  repeated dumbly. The potato was beautiful.<br/>~<br/>Ever wondered what Team Free Will would be as vegetables? probably not.<br/>Well, Chuck is just another guy who lives on his own and drinks a lot. Sometimes he wonders where all those voices come from.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Veggies

Dean was sitting in his usual spot on the bottom part of the fridge door , not doing anything in particular.

“What’s up, Sammy?” he asked his brother, utterly bored and searching for entertainment.

“You know, just…  chillin ’,” the  bundle of celery sprigs  from the bottom shelf answered him, and a group of vegetables  around him laughed.

Dean snorted. “You’re lucky you’re a green, now, Sammy. And such a  despicable  one, too. It’ll take him years to get rid of  ya  this time.” He smirked  and spoke to Sam’s friends - a cabbage, two lemons and a spring onion - who now turned to listen to him.  “Last time,  when he was a tomato, got eaten after two days.  Two days. ” They laughed. “And you know how much time I had to wait for him? A week.”

“Oh, he says it like a week was a lot for him,” Sam answered saucily. The most of the fridge was listening now - the yogurts and cheeses on the top shelf, and the other bottles around Dean, apart from the veggies. It was usually quiet in there, and Dean being a joker, when he was in the mood for it, was frequently the best part of their day. 

“But he used to be a whiskey,” Sam continued. “He was here for  weeks.  Who puts their whiskey in the fridge anyway?”

“Chuck does,”  Kevin commented, and the group of spices around him laughed.

“Where is the old man anyway?” Dean asked. “We’ve been waitin' for him for hours.  Gotta  pick his next victim soon.” A nervous laugh spread around him. Sure, when one of them went away they would usually regenerate as something similar to what they were before, and every costumer in the supermarket had a consistent taste, so they usually found their way back into the fridge - sometimes to someone else’s fridge - but still, nobody wanted to get eaten. 

“I heard him talk on the phone when he  grabbed a yogurt,” Charlie called, swaying in the dense parcel of carrots in the right bottom drawer. “He went to the grocery store.”

“I wonder who will come back this time,” Sam pondered. 

“Maybe Jimmy,” Dean offered.

“Or Meg,” Kevin joined the discussion.

“Oh, not that bitch,” Dean said, and Charlie shouted with protest. “Hey, she’s pretty chill.”

“Shut up, shut up,” Sam  shushed  them abruptly. “Guys, can you hear that?”

Dean  wavered, shifting uneasily in his spot.  Someone was walking outside the fridge. “Yeah, I can hear it.”

“Quick, everyone, inanimate mode,” Sam whispered, and the fridge went still.

For a few moments, nothing happened.  Outside, the human's feet wandered around the kitchen. Then, Dean felt everything around him move forcefully and the light bulb above the top shelf turned on. 

Once the world stopped spinning around Dean, he opened one eye carefully. He could see the groceries being put on the shelves by a giant hand. First, cucumbers - they wouldn't last long - then, a pack of beers - Dean wondered if they got Bobby back, although he went away ages ago - and then a sack of potatoes, some eggs and a packet of butter. A few moments later, Dean felt the world spinning again and the door closed. 

"Is he gone?" Someone whispered in the dark.

"I think so," Dean replied, being followed by an abrupt wave of  whisperings. 

"Hello?"

"Do we know any of 'em?"

"Who puts potatoes  in the fridge?"

"Someone turn the light on!"

There was a loud noise and then the light turned on, revealing a packet of yellow cheese with its top part squished under the light switch.

"Thanks, Garth."

Dean looked around him, examining the new tenants. The ones closest to him were the potatoes. Most of them were busy gazing around them, probably wondering why they ended up in another fridge, but one of them stared right at him, squinting.

"Hello," he greeted the potato reluctantly.  

The potato squinted even harder, and tilted its head to read the writing on Dean's can.

" 'Share a coke with Dean',"  he read. "Hello, Dean."

"Eh...hello," Dean  repeated dumbly. The potato was beautiful. And Dear Lord, the stare those eyes had ...

"What's your name?" Dean managed to ask eventually, forgetting completely all about  his surroundings.

"Castiel."

"Nice name for a potato," Dean teased.

"Do you prefer 'Cas'?" He asked and Dean's mind spun because, God, the way Castiel looked at him...

"Yeah," he mumbled with a foolish smile, trying to remember what Castiel had asked him. 

" Cas, then."

"Oh. Yeah, hmm, sure."

"What were you before?" Cas asked. "I heard that  when you get eaten - or... drunk -  you come back in another form."

"I was a whiskey before," Dean said dreamily, proud of his earlier form.

"Hey, Dean, Jess is back!" He heard Sam's thrilled shout, but he couldn't do more than ignore it. His head was spinning around  Cas ' name.

"What brand?" Cas asked, his eyes still fixed on Dean's, and Dean didn't do the slightest effort to change that. 

"Winchester Bourbon," he answered willingly. 

"Well, then, that makes you..." Castiel examined the title on Dean's can thoughtfully. "Dean Winchester," he decided eventually.

"Dean Winchester," Dean repeated. "Yeah, I like that'" he smiled. 

Dean spent all afternoon trying to think of a way to leave a good impression on Cas, when finally, around dinner time, he gained the courage to say something to him.

Everyone else was in a discussion about who will get eaten tonight, Cas watching them silently, being his usual odd self.

"Hey, Cas," Dean called, trying to distract his new friend from the stressful conversation. He prayed to God that Chuck wasn't planning on eating  potatoes this evening. 

"Why don't you come a lil ' closer, eh?" He said when  Cas  turned to look at him. 

"I am a potato, Dean. I don't have the ability of moving around," Cas answered.

"Yeah, that's too bad," Dean mumbled sadly.

"Why don't you try aiming for a beverage in your next incarnation, Cas?" Sam shouted at them.

"Yeah, and then you two could kiss," Charlie added with a grin and a few vegetables laughed. 

They both blushed, but Cas didn't look away. "Aim for a beverage..." he murmured, when the fridge's door opened suddenly. As Chuck reached out and grabbed Cas and another two potatoes, Cas kept talking quietly, brushing for a  short  moment against Dean's can.

"I think I will," he smiled and added in a whisper, "save me a spot."


End file.
